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oh i am a mess. sitting here at this computer with nothing but horrible thoughts flowing through my mind. "i am useless". "i'm not doing the right thing." i want to smoke. i feel as though i am wrong on all levels. i am the wrong person at the wrong time with the wrong stuff.

images flashing= daria on the phone telling me it was a mistake not going to europe. typing "i'm not good enough". the thought of things always being this way. i know they won't be, but it makes me wonder if my thinking that means i'll laugh again or will true....

oh my goodness. i am absolutely out of my mind. i am going to sleep.